The revolution of that smart TV

The plasma TV is fast turning into one of those ‘every home should have one’ things. These days, almost every friend I visit has some variation on the LCD television against their wall or tucked in the corner of the living room somewhere.

The advantages of plasma television are numerous, aside from improved picture, which is a given, plasma TV is also easier to attach modern peripherals to and is entirely digital of course. It even takes up far less space in the room than the bulkier models. It is utterly modern, and it looks as swish as swish can look.

On an LCD television, I watched ‘Evil Dead’ and it was like Bruce Campbell was coming right at me! The picture quality is simply outstanding. Everything is so clear, it’s like you’ve been watching TV with cataracts your entire life. A plasma TV says something about you, it says that you are the kind of devil-may-care rogue who isn’t satisfied with merely watching ‘Evil Dead’. Oh no, not you. You want to be splattered with dog food and karo syrup too! (nerd joke).

Of course, if you hook it up with a Blu Ray player and 5.1 surround sound, then you’re really setting a dangerous precedent. You might think your plasma tv is real life and mistake your Blu Ray collection for actual memories. Imagine, if you will, texting your best mate thus: ‘Can’t come over 2nite m8, got to blow up the Death Star then raid the lost ark.’ Though, knowing my friends, they would probably think the second one was a rude euphemism, and it’s doubtful that ‘Death star’ is on predictive text.

Work days would fly by, rent and phone bills would go unpaid, but what could you do? You were at Woodstock…Your girl/boyfriend would shack up with your best mate/sibling (whichever sounds worst) and sooner or later the police would kick down your door and find you in your dressing gown swinging a flashlight around and calling yourself ‘Obi Wan’. But you know what? There’s every chance that you won’t end up being a plasma TV casualty. In fact, there’s every chance you will simply vastly improve your home entertainment system. However, I’m still not responsible if you stick cutlery between your fingers, gel up your hair and make people call you ‘Wolverine.’