Workplace adjustments for employees with a hearing impairment

For employees with a hearing impairment, the presence of sound in the workplace can be a daily challenge and a source of frustration. Robin Christopherson looks at how employers can manage potential problems.

Wherever you work, and whatever your role, there is a strong chance that you are routinely bombarded by noise from a variety of different sources. Telephones ringing, printers whirring, music playing on the shop floor or the constant hum of colleagues talking in a open-plan office, the world of work is full of sound.

According to the Health and Safety Executive, around 17,000 employees in the UK experience deafness, ringing in the ears or other ear conditions caused by excessive noise at work.

Action on Hearing Loss estimates that at least 800,000 people in the UK are severely or profoundly deaf, but this is a small proportion of the 10 million people with some form of hearing loss, of which it estimates that 3.7 million are of working age. There are no exact figures on the numbers of people who use British Sign Language (BSL) to communicate, but the estimate is around 50,000.

An employee’s hearing can be impaired in many ways; there is a whole spectrum of

hearing ability and there are lots of different causes of hearing loss, as well as a variety of possible implications in the workplace.

Types of hearing impairment include:

• age-related;



• temporary or permanent;



• progressive; and



• environmental factors.

Impacts of a hearing impairment

As hearing is not something we can “see”, it can be difficult to determine whether or not a colleague’s hearing is impaired. This can make it difficult for line managers to know who to help, and when.

In meetings, presentations, networking events or interviews, a hearing impairment could have an impact on an employee’s ability to do their job, if they are not properly supported or if the working environment is not inclusive of their needs.

There can also often be an emotional response to hearing loss, which impacts on the social and wellbeing of the employee. If you are unable to hear what colleagues are saying clearly, you might miss out on vital information needed for your role, or you might miss the latest bit of office banter, which makes you feel isolated and excluded, having a negative impact on morale.

Reasonable adjustments

Employees with a hearing impairment are protected under the Equality Act 2010 and employers are required to remove the barriers that deaf and other disabled people experience in the workplace. There are a number of different ways to ensure that an organisation is accommodating the needs of deaf or hearing-impaired employees.

Benefits of technology

We are all using technology in the workplace, without really thinking about it, as part of our day-to-day communications. How much of the information you share with colleagues or clients is via the phone, email, your intranet, website, a PowerPoint presentation or a short video? The answer is, of course, nearly all of it.

Technology can work as an enabler as well as a disabler. A message from your organisation’s CEO via video on your corporate intranet can be a really powerful way to communicate with your workforce, but if that video does not have subtitles or captions, you are excluding a proportion of your staff, not limited to those with a hearing impairment but also people whose first language is not English.

A variety of technologies can be used in the workplace to support employees with a hearing impairment. There are some specialist programs available that are specifically designed to support people with hearing loss, but many of the mainstream programs and equipment that your organisation already uses could also be adapted at little to no cost. They include:

• text messaging, and email;



• amplified sound alerts built into PCs;



• a flashing screen on a mobile device when a sound alert is triggered;



• bluetooth to connect to hearing aids;



• captions for videos;



• BSL on-demand services;



• video calling for signing or lip-reading;



• palentypists and stenographers; and



• voice recognition speech-to-text software.

Sometimes the most effective adjustments are made by simply utilising existing resources in a different way. For example, if important company announcements are often given over a tannoy or PA system, which would be difficult or impossible for someone with a hearing impairment to hear, you could also issue the same message via email or text message.

There are also times when specialist adjustments, such as using a palentypist or BSL interpreter, need to be arranged. It is important that the individual employee gets the adjustment that they require, when they require it â€" because no two people with a hearing impairment are the same.

This article highlights the many advancements that have been made in the field of hearing protection at work, and ten years after the Control of Noise at Work Regulations 2005 came into force we should have completely eradicated high levels of noise or the need to control it into the workplace, the original of this article can be found here.

SwiftKey launches symbol-based communication app for people who are non-verbal

Any technology that can improve peoples lives is always a technology that will be championed by us here, and if it is helping people with learning or speech difficulties then that is more incentive for us to bring it to our readers. This is current available on the google store for android devices and we are stating now that this should be on apple devices as soon as possible, the original article can be found on the verge website.

SwiftKey, the predictive smartphone keyboard company, wants to help people who are non-verbal communicate with others. The company launched an experimental symbol-based assistive app today called SwiftKey Symbol, which it says can be used to build sentences using images. SwiftKey staff who have family members with autism spectrum disorder came up with the idea for the tool, according to the company's blog.

The app, which is free and available on Android, makes use of SwiftKey's predictive technology to suggest symbols that might be used to finish a sentence. Outside factors like the time of day or the day of the week will influence these predictions, the company says. Users can also add their own images and use audio playback to read out to sentence to others.

Symbol-based communication apps like this aren't new. Apps like Proloqui2Go and TouchChat also rely on pictograms to build sentences. But these tools can be expensive, and SwitKey says that its own take on the assistive app will be able to form sentences faster than the competition. "A lot of the current communication tools on the market are often too slow to select a particular image a child might choose," the company wrote on its blog. "We realized that SwiftKey’s core prediction and personalization technology â€" which learns from each individual as they use it â€" would be a natural fit for people on the autistic spectrum who respond particularly well to routine-based activity."

In the US, about two in 100 children have an autism spectrum disorder diagnosis. People with autism have varied needs, so it's possible that this app could enhance communication for some people. We haven't tried the app yet â€" but we're eager to see what it can do.

Best ways of choosing 2 Way Radios for the ski slopes

Skiing is a very interesting outdoor activity that individuals or groups of people such as family members or friends can engage in, either for fun or sporting purposes. However, it is quite easy to be separated from a skiing crew, especially if you are skiing in a large area with people of varying skiing abilities. Moreover, cell phones tend to be quite unreliable in mountainous areas due to low network coverage. It can therefore become difficult to locate the members of your crew once you separate. To overcome this challenge, you can use two way radios for easier communication. Below are some of the benefits of using the two way radio for skiing

Ease of Use

Unlike in the case of mobile phones where you need to search for people’s contacts or key in the numbers before calling them, the two way radio communication system is more simplified. It is specially designed to enable you to conveniently communicate with other members by a simple touch of the button. This means that you can easily communicate with them in case of an emergency.

Wide-Range Coverage

Instead of gesturing wildly or allowing your voice to become hoarse due to shouting as you try to communicate with your team members, you can opt for this type of radio communication. It is typically designed to cover a large area, which will help to keep your conversations active as well as organized. For instance an effective two way radio system can cover up to 25 miles under optimal conditions.

Better Accountability

While you are out there in a vast and rugged terrain, it can be quite difficult to know where every team member is at any particular time. The two way radio system will however enable parents, team leaders as well as companies that run skiing slopes to know where each person is at any time, which is extremely important for accountability purposes.

Power Efficiency

Most of these gadgets are power efficient and can operate on standard AAA or AA batteries as well as rechargeable Lithium-ion batteries. This means that you will not need to worry about power depletion. You just need to carry enough batteries to replace those that get depleted. Alternatively, you can recharge your Lithium ion battery using the charging system in your car. This will help to ensure that there is no communication breakdown.

Hands-Free Communication

The best way to remain comfortable while using the two way radio for skiing is by using earpieces or headsets . These accessories allow you to have hands-free communication. This will enable you to concentrate on skiing, instead of having to pick and put back the radio all the time. Moreover, most of them are compact and lightweight gadgets which will not weigh you down as you glide down the slope.

Water Resistance

While skiing, your communication device may sometimes fall in snow or water. In extreme cases, a storm can find you while you are busy enjoying the activity. In such a case, you need a waterproof gadget that will not spoil when it soaks in water. And that is why a two way radio is important as it is designed with such factors in mind, hence it is water resistant.

GPS Integration

For enhanced safety and easier location while engaging in your outdoor skiing activities, the two way radios can be integrated with the Global Positioning System (GPS). This allows different users to easily broadcast their GPS location coordinates. This feature can be life-saving, for instance in case of an avalanche fall, or if one member gets trapped while skiing.

NOAA Weather Information

Knowing that you might be faced with severe weather is extremely important especially when you are skiing in remote areas. Most of these radio communication gadgets have support for the NOAA weather channels. They have built-in alerts to let you know when extreme weather is approaching. This aspect can enable you to take cover and avoid any form of disaster.

Wild gesturing and shouting may not work as a means of communication when skiing in a vast area with a large team skiers. To overcome such a challenge, you can use the two way radio communication system. The unit is convenient, easy to use, power efficient and quite cost effective. Moreover, it promotes accountability as it is easier to know where each team member is at any single time.

Wrestling Legend Rowdy Roddy Piper Dies At 61

The world of professional wrestling is in mourning following the death of the legendary Rowdy Roddy Piper last month. Piper suffered a cardiac arrest whilst at his home in Hollywood, California. He was just 61 years old.

For many kids (including myself) that first became fans in the mid-late 1980’s, Roddy Piper was the definitive wrestling heel (industry jargon for a bad guy). Whether hosting his notorious Piper’s Pit segment, or facing off against Hulk Hogan & Mr. T (with partner Mr. Wonderful Paul Orndorf) at the inaugural WrestleMania event, Piper was one of the industry’s biggest starts during one of its most popular and lucrative periods.

He was also instrumental in making the WWF (now WWE) brand the biggest in professional wrestling. In addition to headlining the very first WrestleMania event (a pioneering Pay-Per View extravaganza that could easily have ruined the company had it proved to be a failure), Piper also featured in one of WrestleMania II’s three main event matchups, thus securing his position as one of wrestling’s most bankable stars.

His undercard matches at WrestleManias III, VI and (the stone cold classic against Bret The Hitman Hart at) VIII are absolute highlights of a classic era of pro wrestling. He even acted as a guest referee for the main event of Bret Hart vs. Yokozuna at WrestleMania X. Younger fans, however, will undoubtedly remember Piper teaming with fellow veterans Ricky Steamboat and Jimmy Superfly Snuka to face Chris Jericho at WrestleMania XXV.

In an era defined by outlandish babyface characters with bodybuilder physiques and sometimes questionable in-ring abilities, Roddy Piper stood out as a genuine wrestler’s wrestler, an authentic tough guy - and the necessarily evil counterpoint to the simplistic, superheroic good guys being featured at the time by the WWF.

Born in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, Canada in 1954, Roderick Toombs was always an unruly personality. Expelled from school at a young age and subsequently falling out with his father, (a member of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police) Toombs hit the road, staying in various youth hostels and earning a buck wherever he could. Eventually, the tempestuous youth wound up in a wrestling ring, making his in-ring debut at the tender age of just 15-years-old.

The kid was tough (he had a Black Belt in Judo), displayed a natural affinity for the ring and he had a roguish charisma all of his own. In addition, he really could play the bagpipes. After early stints jobbing in Verne Gagne’s AWA, NWA Houston and Fritz Von Erich’s Big Time Wrestling promotion in Dallas, Texas, Piper debuted for Mike and Gene LeBell’s NWA Hollywood promotion and soon became the outfit’s top heel. A slew of regional Championships followed.

Whilst working for promoter Roy Shire in the NWA’s San Francisco territory, Piper developed his character and ring work. In Los Angeles, he feuded with Chavo Guerrero Sr, Hector Guerrero and ultimately locked up against their father, Mexican wrestling legend Gory Guerrero (father of future WWE Champ Eddie). In The Pacific Northwest, he unseated former NWA World’s Heavyweight Champion Jack Brisco for Mid Atlantic’s version of the World Heavyweight Championship, a title he would go on to hold twice more.

In the mid 1980’s, Piper entered Vince McMahon’s insurgent WWF. He was billed as being from Glasgow, Scotland and was well known for being the only wrestler to wear a kilt to the ring. Fans ate it up. Feuding with such stars as Hulk Hogan, Adrian Adonis, Andre The Giant, Jimmy Superfly Snuka, Million Dollar Man Ted DiBiase, Jerry The King Lawler and Bret Hitman Hart, to name but a few, Piper always brought out the best in his opponents and it was with the WWF that he became a household name, as well as one of the industry’s biggest ever stars.

In the mid-1990’s, Piper wrestled for WCW (World Championship Wrestling), where he debuted as one of the company’s headline stars. He feuded, once again, with Hulk Hogan and also battled old rivals such as Ric Flair, Bret Hart and ‘Macho Man’ Randy Savage. Whilst working for WCW, he was even chosen to headline ‘Starrcade’, the company’s flagship Pay-Per-View event.



In his later career, Piper made sporadic reappearances for the WWE, briefly worked for TNA, enjoyed a reasonably successful acting career and also hosted his own podcast. He battled Hodgkin’s Lymphoma after being diagnosed with the illness in 2006, but had completely beaten it into remission as of last year. Despite the setbacks caused by his ill health, Piper wrestled his last match in 2011.

Although he never held a recognised World Heavyweight Championship, Piper will be remembered as one of the greatest WWF Intercontinental Champions of all time, a reign that was attested to during his appearance at this year’s WrestleMania XXXI, where he congratulated then-IC Champion Daniel Bryan on his victory. He also held other notable belts, such as the United States Championship, the WWF/E Tag Team Championship (with Ric Flair) and the NWA World Light Heavyweight Championship.

Piper was a member of the WWE Hall of Fame and the Wrestling Observer Hall of Fame, as well as the Professional Wrestling Hall of Fame. He was also a member of the Cauliflower Alley Club.

On the August 3^rd edition of RAW, the entire WWE roster, each member clad in Roddy’s signature Hot Rod t-shirts opened the show with a very moving ten bell salute in tribute to the fallen legend.

WWE boss Vince McMahon said, "Roddy Piper was one of the most entertaining, controversial and bombastic performers ever in WWE, beloved by millions of fans around the world. I extend my deepest condolences to his family."

UFC Bantamweight Champion Rowdy Ronda Rousey dedicated her 34-second victory over Bethe Correia to Piper’s memory, "I just want to say that we lost a really close friend, Rowdy Roddy Piper, who gave me permission to use his name as a fighter (...) And so I hope him and my dad had a good time watching this today."

Former WWE and WCW Champion (and Piper’s frequent in-ring rival) Bret Hart wrote, “I can’t find the words to describe the sorrow in my heart upon learning the news of my dear friend, Roddy Piper, passing away. He was my closest friend in the business, a man that schooled me and guided me throughout my career. In fact, if it wasn’t for Roddy Piper reaching out to help me, I’m sure I would’ve been a mere footnote in wrestling. He was always there for me. He was family to me.” Hart also recalled that, following his stroke in 2002; Piper was the only wrestler who visited him in hospital.

Hulk Hogan, another of Piper’s famous adversaries, said of Piper that, “He was my best friend. He is a legend. God’s gain is our loss. May his family in this time of need, find peace"

Other friends, colleagues and admirers of Piper’s included former WWF Champ The Iron Sheik, who said “Roddy Piper. I love you forever. God bless you Bubba” and multi-time World Champion Chris Jericho Tweeted, “Sorry to hear of the passing of my friend and Wrestlemania rival #RoddyPiper. One of the greatest who ever lived, but more importantly a legit sweet family man with a good heart”. Former WWE Divas Champion Paige called Piper a “legend” and Tweeted a picture of a broken heart, an image which reflected the feelings of many a wrestler and wrestling fan.

Roddy’s son, Colt, said that his father was his “best friend” and a “great man” saying that he would miss him forever and “always try to be the man he raised me to be”.

Rowdy Roddy Piper lived a life littered with accomplishments. Not many of us will ever be declared as legendary by our peers and fewer still will be able to stack 30+ Championship reigns anywhere on our resume, but those weren’t the man’s proudest achievements. Piper had been married to his wife, Kitty, since 1982 and is survived by her and the four children they lovingly raised together. My thoughts are with them, as well as everyone else who knew, worked with, or simply enjoyed to watch the late, great man work his magic in front of a capacity crowd. R.I.P Roddy.

Hitler Escaped From War-Torn Germany Through Tunnels Below Berlin

We all know how Adolf Hitler died, don’t we? It was April 30^th, 1945. The Nazi cause had been well and truly lost and both the allied forces and the Red Army were invading Germany. Cowering in his bunker, the German dictator put a pistol to his head and fired. His new bride, Eva Braun, took a cyanide tablet and ended her own life shortly thereafter. Their bodies were then placed in a bomb crater, doused with petroleum and burned.

The official story effectively ends there. By the time Russian troops arrived at the scene, all that remained of one of history’s greatest mass-murderers was a charred lower jaw and dental bridge, which matched Hitler’s dental records and so proved that he had indeed died, with Braun, in the bunker.

However, declassified FBI documents reveal that the organisation was actively investigating a number of Hitler sightings during the post-war period. In fact, it appears that quite a few of the powers that be were treating Hitler’s apparent demise with understandably high levels of suspicion. These ideas gain a level of credence from the fact that the US Army was so convinced of Hitler’s survival that they actually mounted at least one covert operation to search for him.

Conspiracy theories abound that he may have faked his own death and escaped to South America, as a number of other high-ranking Nazi party members also managed to do.

Such theories are nothing new. Hitler’s post-war life has been postulated as taking place in locations as exotic and far afield as Brazil, Argentina and even the South Pole. In one instance, a clearly posed-for photo of a man purported to be Hitler made the news, although the facts that a) the man’s face cannot be properly seen, b) he is posing for a photograph in a relaxed and comfortable manner, something a wanted man would be extremely unlikely to do and c) he has a black girlfriend on his arm would suggest that this claim is utter nonsense.

Up until now, any theories of Hitler’s continued survival have had to rely upon elaborate, (often downright fanciful) descriptions of Hitler’s passage from Germany to wherever the authors assert that he ultimately ended up. Historians have exhaustively scoured travel manifests for clues (as if the most wanted man in the world would actually be listed as a passenger under his own name) and questioned scores of people who apparently knew, sighted or spoke to, an elderly Adolf Hitler.

In any instance, Hitler certainly had the means, as well as the motive, to fake his own death and flee Europe. Now, new evidence suggests that, whether he actually managed it or not, escape was almost certainly an option for him.

A hidden network of secret tunnels, located under the streets of Berlin, could hypothetically have enabled Hitler to escape. According to a new documentary series commissioned by the History channel, a false wall, located in a Berlin subway station, could easily have provided an escape route for the dictator.

The team assembled for this task is of a high pedigree, among their number are ex-CIA operative Bob Baer, upon whom George Clooney’s character in the film Syriana is based. He is perhaps best known as one of the men who helped track down Saddam Hussein. Joining Baer is Tim Kennedy, a US special forces operative who was tasked with tracking Osama Bin Laden after 9/11 and Sascha Keil, a German historian representing the Berlin Underworlds association. The team treated Hitler’s proposed escape as a cold case in the modern sense and began a lengthy and thorough investigation into the possibility and plausibility of Hitler’s flight from Germany.

According to the team’s research, a great many Nazis fled Germany from Tempelhof Airport on the 21^st April, just one day after Hitler’s final public appearance. Among this exodus were eight planes apparently loaded with Hitler’s personal possessions. Calculating an underground route from Hitler’s last known location to Tempelhof, the team reasoned that he could have made the journey almost entirely underground, except for the last 200 yards or so. The discovery of the false wall/new tunnel, confirmed by sonar analysis, would have connected the subway station (then known as U6) with the airport, allowing Hitler and his entourage to slip away unnoticed as the Soviets marched on the capital and vicious fighting broke out in the streets.

According to The Daily Express, Keil knocked on the wall and the team scanned it after it made a hollow sound. Thus, a plausible escape route for one of the most evil men in history had been discovered. Though initially sceptical, Baer came to admit that it was entirely possible that Hitler survived the war and ended up living out the rest of his days in South America.



As the investigation continued, the team found themselves picking through the ruins of a jungle compound in northern Argentina. The location was full of Nazi artefacts, very possibly the same ones that were secreted out of Berlin in 1945.

The Hunting Hitler team are by no means the first to posit that the fascist dictator spent his final years hiding out in Argentina. Initial investigations and press releases of the 1940’s often allowed for the possibility of Hitler’s continued survival and nobody in either the Soviet, or the allied camps appears to have been 100% convinced of The Fuhrer’s death.

In June of 1945, The Chicago Times reported that Hitler and his wife had absconded to Argentina. This was followed by a number of books, all offering variations on the same story.

The 2014 book Grey Wolf: The Escape of Adolf Hitler by Simon Dunstan and Gerrard Williams contests that Hitler lived in a small village, not far from the foothills of the Andes and died in the early 1960s. The book proved controversial, and was publicly attacked by many historians, but Argentine journalist and historian Abel Basti, who wrote the bestselling book Hitlers Exile (and accused the aforementioned authors of plagiarism) has also claimed proof of Hitler’s arrival to the country. According to Basti’s book, Hitler underwent plastic surgery and then became an art dealer (remember, he was a painter and an art lover).

Basti’s intensive and meticulous research even produced alleged photos of Hitler, Braun and a daughter named Urich living in exile in the country. He also spoke with interviewees, one of whom remembers his family maintaining a close friendship with the exiled Nazi leader. According to Basti, who was interviewed by beforeitsnews.com, the Russian records present “abundant documentation that shows that Hitler had escaped”, all of which paints a chilling portrait of the exiled Nazi leader living out his remaining days in relative peace and never facing justice for his innumerable crimes against humanity.

For now though, the most disturbing piece of evidence for this theory is simply this, why would a man of Hitler’s ambition, drive and rampant egomania spend years building escape tunnels throughout Berlin and then refuse to use them when the time came to do so?



Of course, even if he did escape, Adolf Hitler would have died long ago. Diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease, amongst a plethora of other ailments, he was 56 years old in 1945 and not in good health â€" and that was 70 years ago. So, any way you slice it, Hitler is definitely dead, which is no bad thing.

Computer Helps Paralyzed Man to Walk Again

Cutting edge technology has enabled a paralyzed man to move his legs again.

According to the Journal Neuroengineering and Rehabilitation, the subject, a male suffering from total paralysis of the legs for five years, was able to walk just under four metres with support.

The system used in this breakthrough was developed in the US by researchers from The University of California, Irvine. The test subject had suffered a severe spinal cord injury, which disrupts the link between the brain and the leg muscles. Essentially, this means that the brain can still generate signals to the legs and that the legs are still fully capable of receiving them, but the spinal cord is incapable of relaying the messages between the two.

What the researchers were able to do was use an electroencephalogram cap to read the activity in the man’s brain; a computer then interpreted his brainwaves and electrodes, placed at strategic points along the man’s legs, were then used to stimulate the leg muscles whenever he thought about walking.

It took a lot of gruelling training on the part of the patient, who effectively had to re-learn how to use his legs. He was trained, in part, via the use of virtual reality avatars and video game characters.

The results speak for themselves, although a full cure for paralysis is still a long way off, you have to feel that it just got a little bit closer to becoming a reality.

One of the researchers, Dr. An Do, told BBC News, "We showed that you can restore intuitive, brain-controlled walking after a complete spinal cord injury. (...) This non-invasive system for leg muscle stimulation is a promising method and is an advance of our current brain-controlled systems that use virtual reality or a robotic exoskeleton."

Although the results of this test are highly encouraging, experts have been quick to point out that there are many hurdles yet to overcome, among them the issue of balance, which has yet to be addressed. The patient was strapped into a harness for the experiment, something that would not be possible anywhere other than a home or hospital environment.

Nevertheless, this is still a hugely encouraging step and the success of this test will hopefully serve as a ray of hope for many people suffering paralysis.

Too Much Monkey Business? US Lawsuit Attempts to Grant a Monkey the Rights to his Selfie (No, Really)

A group of idiots in America (where else??) are arguing that a monkey whose image was used in a wildlife book WITHOUT HIS PERMISSION should be receiving damages for copyright infringement.

Now, as we all know, the only thing more dangerous than an idiot with too much free time is a cluster of idiots with too much free time. In this way, the truly brainless can form a conglomeration of sorts, meaning that they can then work in shifts, creating a sort of stupidity barrage, which can be rather tough to avoid. High profile examples of this phenomenon include creationism, the people who called Kim Davis a civil rights icon and, a little closer to home, UKIP voters.

...You just don’t expect it from PETA (People for Ethical Treatment of Animals), an organisation that has been around for 35 years.

OK, here’s the skinny; four years ago, British wildlife photographer and animal rights activist David Slater was visiting a nature reserve on the Indonesian island of Sulawesi. He left his camera unattended, so a cheeky monkey named Naruto picked it up and snapped a couple of selfies. One of the pics was used in a wildlife book (for which Slater was paid) and now he’s being sued...For ripping off a monkey.

According to the lawsuit, which was filed (with a straight face, amazingly) by the U.S District Court in San Francisco, the pictures came from "a series of purposeful and voluntary actions by Naruto, unaided by Slater," as a result, says the lawsuit, "Naruto has the right to own and benefit from the copyright ... in the same manner and to the same extent as any other author,"

...Except for the fact that he ISN’T an author. He’s a f*cking monkey.

This whole thing brings to mind that old joke, lets see if I can remember how it goes: when is an author not an author? Oh yeah...WHEN HE’S A F*CKING MONKEY!

And once more, just to highlight the stupidity of the whole debacle...THE AUTHOR OF THE PHOTOS IS A F*CKING MONKEY, WHO TOOK A BREAK FROM FLINGING FECES ALL OVER THE PLACE TO PLAY AROUND WITH A CAMERA, TOOK A PRETTY DECENT PHOTO AND THEN F*CKED OFF BACK TO THE RAINFOREST TO GO ABOUT HIS MONKEY BUSINESS.

...It might be different if the monkey had actually PAID for the camera, or made the purposeful and voluntary action of ordering his own camera from eBay, or even if he’d gone online and hired Slater to photograph him. Then he might actually have a case (especially if Naruto had contributed to Slater’s travel expenses). But no, none of that happened. Why? Because he’s a f*cking monkey, that’s why.

To be fair, how was Slater supposed to have obtained permission?

PETA is demanding that the monkey be paid (in bananas, presumably) damages for the unauthorized use of his photos...Which is stupid like there isn’t a word for.

Apparently, US copyright law says nothing about monkeys asserting copyright over their works (which could pose a problem if they ever do manage to type out the complete works of Shakespeare) and, as a result, PETA feels that this is sufficient grounds to take a struggling photographer to court on behalf of a monkey who, quite frankly, doesn’t give a damn.

Damn those shortsighted copyright laws. Why didn’t the authors consider that, just 40 years after they were written, monkeys would benefit from their not being specifically named anywhere in the document? So now we live in this dystopian future where only those as super-smart as I are left alive to bitterly cry “DAMN YOU, YOU MANIACS!!!, DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!” (Thank you, Jay).

The only thing about the lawsuit which isn’t stupid is that the money (presumably after PETA recouped a lot of expenses) would go to the maintenance of Naruto’s natural habitat, which is doubtless a good thing.



Naruto is a rare crested macaque, a species that is listed as critically endangered. Their numbers have decreased by something like 90% in the last 25 years, largely due to extensive habitat loss.

...Except that, hang on, aren’t donations to PETA supposed to be going to that kind of thing, as opposed to dumbass lawsuits aimed at wildlife photographers who are just trying to capture the beauty of nature for us all to enjoy? I’m confused.

Oh wait, no I’m not. In fact, I could be in a lot of trouble, because my family’s cat once climbed up onto my desk and typed out a Facebook status, which I then posted. Ah jeez, I hope he doesn’t read this article, because that’s the last thing I need (he’s still mad at me about the whole castration thing).